taken from - http://ahliajannah.blogspot.com/
Quite recently, I've started to put on the niqab. In Malaysia, niqab is not that prevalent. Although most of the muslim women do cover their hair, still... muslim women covering their full aurat is quite sparse. It's quite challenging wearing the niqab. Wherever I go, all eyes are on me (...well anyway that's how I feel) . The worst part is when, sometimes, small kids run away from me because they are scared of me. Look ma...hantu/ghost/zorro/ninja.....Sigh. I really feel bad about this. I do try to smile at them (although they can't see me from behind the veil) hoping that my warm and friendly aura can penetrate thru the niqab. I really don't want to frighten children. I know they do not understand. SubhanALlah, even adults do not understand, then, how can small children be any better?
There are varying reasons why I have decided to put on the niqab. My main belief is that the niqab is a form of sunnah. As much as I feel strongly that eating with my right hand is sunnah, so too, I do believe that covering of my face is sunnah. InsyaAllah, Allah swt has promises that there is success in adhering to Rasulullah saw's sunnah. With each sunnah that a muslim adhere to with istiqamah, Allah swt will grant him/her with 100 rewards of a syahid. Adhering to sunnah is totally alien nowadays. In this world of fasya and mungkar, following the sunnah or the way of rasulullullah saw's life is going against all that everyone else believe in. It is like swimming upstream against the flowing river. In fact, in a hadith, rasullullah saw has prophesized and told his sahabah that there will be a time when following the sunnah is like holding on to a burning wood fire.
Dikeluarkan oleh Abu Hakim daripada Ibnu Mas'ud ra sebagaimana dalam Kanzul Ummal dan Jami'us Saghir Rasulullah saw bersabda mafhumnya " Org yg berpegang kepada sunnahku di zaman perselisihan ummatku adalah seperti org yg menggenggam bara api" (Hayatus Sahabah Jilid 1 versi Melayu)
Truly, what rasulullah saw said applies to our time now. We are the "umat akhir zaman".
Everyday, we can see muslim women wearing skimpy clothing. In fact, in newspaper, magazines and tv, some muslim women wear very little clothing. However, nobody bats an eye at this. I bet no one will run away from these ladies and call them names...Look ma...almost naked lady! In fact, knowing the boys, I bet they will try to inch closer to get a better look at what is on display.
I bear no grudges to these semi-clothed ladies or the public who look down upon people who choose to cover their face. After all, this is my battle...my jihad. I am doing this first and foremost for myself. For my iman. It is said that adhering to sunnah is likened to a shield. A protection for our iman. The more sunnah that we practise in our life, the stronger the shield that you built for your iman.
When i first started to put on the niqab, I was overly conscious. Fearing that all of my actions are under close scrutiny by the misunderstood/misinformed public. I chose to stay indoors. Feeling that my iman is too weak to face any criticism from anyone, I felt that it is best if I stay clear of the general public. Closing myself off from even friends and family. In fact, I barely venture out of my home. Even to step off my front lawn to water the plants or hang my laundry became such a chore. Somehow, I've become pseudo-agoraphobic ( is there such a word). My hubby was at his wits end. Suddenly his outdoorsy and independent wife has become sooo timid and introverted. What to do??? I guess I kinda put my hubby through quite a rough couple of months.
Alhamdulillah, as days passed by...slowly ALlah swt gave me understanding. It is not important that people around me do not understand the niqab. It is true...tidak kenal maka tidak cinta. Before this, I used to feel the same way about the niqab. I am helpless to change the public's opinion. Only ALlah has power to do this. I am the person who must first change. Granted, I am wearing the niqab as a journey for my iman...but to have peace with my niqab, I must also understand that I should wear my niqb with pride. Not because I feel that I am far better off than the average muslim women...NO...I must feel proud because I have been blessed that Allah swt has shown me to this path. So, it is my duty to wear the niqab in public. To show to the rest of the people that it is not an ugly and fearful clothing. To show that I am just an ordinary person..yet I put on the niqab. Not because I am superior in knowledge or amal. But because it helps me to control my eyes and my attitude. It helps me to be wary (tawajjuh) of ALlah swt. To reinforce in me the idea that ALlah swt is ever watchful of me.
Thus, it is sad but true...I am just an average muslim lady. Battling everyday against my personal weaknesses and devils. My hubby said, we aredefinitely not the best of people...But everyday, we strive to better ourselves. Sometimes we fault and err but, we try outmost to never give up. After all, we are weak insans covered with much sin. Only ALlah is Most Rahman and Most Rahim. He understands and helps us through the bumps and dips in our journey. Life is too short. Barely seconds compared to the infinite akhirah. Who knows when my number will be up. Hopefully, through this small effort on my part, I pray that I shall obtain ALlah swt's benevolence. Insya ALlah. AMin.
Showing posts with label niqab stories and experiences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label niqab stories and experiences. Show all posts
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My Niqab Story
Prelude: I currently wear niqab "when I feel like it" rather than full-time. This story was written in 2002 shortly after I first started wearing niqab and focuses on my experiences getting started.
It seems fitting that I open this page with my own niqab story. I began wearing niqab on Wednesday, January 14, 2002.
When I first accepted Islam, I thought that niqab was oppressive. I accepted the need for hijab, and in fact began wearing it within a month of my reversion. But I thought that niqab was a cultural practice only, or that it was a case of men putting extra restrictions on women rather than taking the responsbility of controlling their own desires.
However, as I came to read and learn more about the rules governing Islamic dress for women, I discovered that in fact niqab was firmly established among the sahabiyat - it is part of Islam as the Prophet (sAas) brought it, not a cultural tradition. Once I saw this, it opened my mind to consider the benefits of niqab.
The more I learned about niqab, the more I saw its beauty. All the benefits that hijab brings, niqab can bring more of. Niqab is haya. Niqab is taqwa. Niqab is a way of pleasing Allah SWT and of seeking to draw near to Him, inshallah.
By the summer of 2001, I had come to decide that niqab was something that I would like to do. I was not sure that I was ready, but I purchased my first niqab and one weekend in early September, I made my first brief expedition outdoors while wearing it. I was still pretty nervous about it even after this and not sure what to do next -- then a few days later came the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center.
In the first days following the attacks, it took a lot of courage just for me to go out wearing hijab, although I was completely determined that I would do so. Al-hamdulillah, I never faced any worse trouble than some nasty looks and rudeness. But the thought of going out in public in niqab almost made me panic. I was filled with fears and worries. What if people thought that I was a terrorist or a criminal because I had my face covered, and tried to do something to me? I read stories about sisters elsewhere being harassed and persecuted for wearing hijab, and niqab is an even more obvious symbol of Islam than that. Would the same happen to me?
For the next four months, I continued to fret and worry over niqab. I really should have known better. I would have told any other sister in my place that it was the shaytan playing with her mind, trying to keep her away from what pleases Allah SWT. I would have given her lots of bracing advice about having courage. But somehow, when it came to myself, I couldn't seem to get past it.
I did join some online discussion clubs about niqab and began sharing experiences with niqabi sisters, and other sisters like me who were interested in niqab but had not yet started wearing it. This was really the best thing I could have done for myself. In fact, it provided the impetus that finally pushed me forward to niqab. In the course of a discussion with another sister who was skeptical about niqab, I started feeling like a hypocrite. Here I was telling her that sisters should be proud to wear niqab in the West and yet I was too scared to do it myself. What a hypocrite. What a coward. I realized I had to confront my fears once and for all. I offered salat al-istikhara and asked Allah SWT to make niqab easy if it was what He had willed for me.
Over the following week, I made several brief expeditions near to where I live while wearing niqab. This was good, but I knew it was not enough. I generally don't go out except for my needs, and to work (I have to work to support myself since Allah SWT has not yet blessed me with a husband, and my family are not Muslims.) I knew that until I wore niqab out to work, I was still not really wearing it.
During the weekend after those expeditions I began to have this very strong feeling that grew stronger as the weekend went on. It is hard to describe it, but it was a kind of urgency. I knew that I had to find the courage to wear niqab for real, or fail the test that Allah SWT had set for me. This was the answer to my istikhara.
I offered salat al-istikhara again Sunday night then Monday morning when I dressed to go out for work, on went the niqab. I was so nervous! You would not believe how scared I was inside. But I kept making du'a constantly. Ya Allah, give me strength. Ya Allah, help me.
At that time, I worked in an office with other women only and we did not have walk-ins, so there was little danger of non-mahram men coming by. I would take off my niqab there (although I did wear hijab). It was the commute by bus to and from work, an hour each way, that was the hard part, and the one I so feared. That morning, as we completed each stage of the trip, I gave thanks to Allah SWT for making it easy for me. And I kept making du'a.
By the grace of Allah SWT, I made it safely through the day and back home and did not face any trouble. When I got back inside my apartment, I almost literally dropped to my knees giving thanks to Allah SWT.
The marvelous thing is that each day since then it has become easier. It was the first day that was by far the most difficult. Once I had faced that down, then I could do the rest with confidence. The funniest thing of all is that this is almost an exact replay of what I went through when I started to wear hijab, just more so. I almost laugh now looking back at it. First the stage of fear and indecision, then determination and I do it. And then, having faced my fears, it becomes easy for me, al-hamdulillah. If I had been able to look at it from the outside I could have predicted it, and told myself what I needed to do.
Inshallah, I would like to close with some advice for sisters who may be in the same position I was, wanting to wear niqab but afraid. You really have to just do it. If you wait for a time that you are not afraid, you will still be waiting when Allah SWT takes your soul. Courage isn't being fearless. It's doing what you know is right even though you are terrified inside.
Put your trust completely in Allah SWT. Ask Him to help you and give you strength, and have faith that He will. Offer istikhara, as many times as you need to. And make du'a. Make du'a constantly if you need to. Ask Allah SWT for every moment of courage that you need, then give thanks to Him when He gives it to you. When you trust in Him, He will help you. He will give you the strength and the courage you need. When you put your faith in Him, you can do anything. Gather your courage together and JUST DO IT. I finally did, and it was worth it. I feel now like such a great burden has been lifted from me. I didn't realize how much it was weighing on me that I was letting my fears keep me from doing what I want to do to seek the love of Allah SWT. Now I feel at such peace. I offer my prayers with a light heart again. This is the feeling of freedom that comes when you submit yourself to Allah SWT. Truly, He is the most Merciful and the most Gentle to His weak and pitiful slaves.
For me, niqab was truly a jihad an-nafs. I think it was harder than just about anything I have done in a long time. But it is worth it, all praise is to Allah, it is worth it.
Ma'a salama,
The webmaster of Al-Muhajabah's Islamic Pages
P.S. When you have niqab on, nobody can see how scared you are! 
source: http://www.muhajabah.com/my_niqab_story/almuhajab.php
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Why I Shed Bikini For Niqab ?
By Sara Bokker (a former actress/model/fitness instructor and activist)
I am an American woman who was born in the midst of America’s “Heartland.”I grew up, just like any other girl, being fixated with the glamour of life in “the big city.”Eventually, I moved to Florida and on to South Beach of Miami, a hotspot for those seeking the “glamorous life.”Naturally, I did what most average Western girls do.I focused on my appearance and appeal, basing my self-worth on how much attention I got from others.I worked out religiously and became a personal trainer, acquired an upscale waterfront residence, became a regular “exhibiting” beach-goer and was able to attain a “living-in-style” kind of life.
Years went by, only to realize that my scale of self-fulfillment and happiness slid down the more I progressed in my “feminine appeal.” I was a slave to fashion. I was a hostage to my looks.
As the gap continued to progressively widen between my self-fulfillment and lifestyle, I sought refuge in escapes from alcohol and parties to meditation, activism, and alternative religions, only to have the little gap widen to what seemed like a valley. I eventually realized it all was merely a pain killer rather than an effective remedy.
By now it was September 11, 2001.As I witnessed the ensuing barrage on Islam, Islamic values and culture, and the infamous declaration of the “new crusade,” I started to notice something called Islam.Up until that point, all I had associated with Islam was women covered in “tents,” wife beaters, harems, and a world of terrorism.
As a feminist libertarian, and an activist who was pursuing a better world for all, my path crossed with that of another activist who was already at the lead of indiscriminately furthering causes of reform and justice for all.I joined in the ongoing campaigns of my new mentor which included, at the time, election reform and civil rights, among others.Now my new activism was fundamentally different.Instead of “selectively” advocating justice only to some, I learned that ideals such as justice, freedom, and respect are meant to be and are essentially universal, and that own good and common good are not in conflict.For the first time, I knew what “all people are created equal” really means.But most importantly, I learned that it only takes faith to see the world as one and to see the unity in creation.
One day I came across a book that is negatively stereotyped in the West--The Holy Qur’an.I was first attracted by the style and approach of the Qur’an, and then intrigued by its outlook on existence, life, creation, and the relationship between Creator and creation.I found the Qur’an to be a very insightful address to heart and soul without the need for an interpreter or pastor.
Eventually I hit a moment of truth: my new-found self-fulfilling activism was nothing more than merely embracing a faith called Islam where I could live in peace as a “functional” Muslim.
I bought a beautiful long gown and head cover resembling the Muslim woman’s dress code and I walked down the same streets and neighborhoods where only days earlier I had walked in my shorts, bikini, or “elegant” western business attire. Although the people, the faces, and the shops were all the same, one thing was remarkably distinct--I was not--nor was the peace at being a woman I experienced for the very first time.I felt as if the chains had been broken and I was finally free.I was delighted with the new looks of wonder on people’s faces in place of the looks of a hunter watching his prey I had once sought.Suddenly a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.I no longer spent all my time consumed with shopping, makeup, getting my hair done, and working out. Finally, I was free.
Of all places, I found my Islam at the heart of what some call “the most scandalous place on earth,” which makes it all the more dear and special.
While content with Hijab I became curious about Niqab, seeing an increasing number of Muslim women in it. I asked my Muslim husband, whom I married after I reverted to Islam, whether I should wear Niqab or just settle for the Hijab I was already wearing.My husband simply advised me that he believes Hijab is mandatory in Islam while Niqab is not.At the time, my Hijab consisted of head scarf that covered all my hair except for my face, and a loose long black gown called “Abaya” that covered all my body from neck to toe.
A year-and-a-half passed, and I told my husband I wanted to wear Niqab.My reason, this time, was that I felt it would be more pleasing to Allah, the Creator, increasing my feeling of peace at being more modest.He supported my decision and took me to buy an “Isdaal,” a loose black gown that covers from head to toe, and Niqab, which covers all my head and face except for my eyes.
Soon enough, news started breaking about politicians, Vatican clergymen, libertarians, and so-called human rights and freedom activists condemning Hijab at times, and Niqab at others as being oppressive to women, an obstacle to social integration, and more recently, as an Egyptian official called it--“a sign of backwardness.”
I find it to be a blatant hypocrisy when Western governments and so-called human rights groups rush to defend woman’s rights when some governments impose a certain dress code on women, yet such “freedom fighters” look the other way when women are being deprived of their rights, work, and education just because they choose to exercise their right to wear Niqab or Hijab.Today, women in Hijab or Niqab are being increasingly barred from work and education not only under totalitarian regimes such as in Tunisia,Morocco, and Egypt, but also in Western democracies such as France, Holland, and Britain.
Today I am still a feminist,but a Muslim feminist,who calls on Muslim women to assume their responsibilities in providing all the support they can for their husbands to be good Muslims. To raise their children as upright Muslims so they may be beacons of light for all humanity once again. To enjoin good--any good--and to forbid evil--any evil.To speak righteousness and to speak up against all ills.To fight for our right to wear Niqab or Hijab and to please our Creator whichever way we chose.But just as importantly to carry our experience with Niqab or Hijab to fellow women who may never have had the chance to understand what wearing Niqab or Hijab means to us and why do we, so dearly, embrace it.
Most of the women I know wearing Niqab are Western reverts,some of whom are not even married. Others wear Niqab without full support of either family or surroundings. What we all have in common is that it is the personal choice of each and every one of us, which none of us is willing to surrender.
Willingly or unwillingly, women are bombarded with styles of “dressing-in-little-to-nothing” virtually in every means of communication everywhere in the world.As an ex non-Muslim, I insist on women’s right to equally know about Hijab, its virtues, and the peace and happiness it brings to a woman’s life as it did to mine.Yesterday, the bikini was the symbol of my liberty, when in actuality it only liberated me from my spirituality and true value as a respectable human being.
I couldn’t be happier to shed my bikini in SouthBeach and the “glamorous” Western lifestyle to live in peace with my Creator and enjoy living among fellow humans as a worthy person.It is why I choose to wear Niqab, and why I will die defending my inalienable right to wear it.
Today, Niqab is the new symbol of woman’s liberation to find who she is, what her purpose is, and the type of relation she chooses to have with her Creator.
To women who surrender to the ugly stereotype against the Islamic modesty of Hijab, I say:You don’t know what you are missing.
To you, the ill-fated corrupting conquerors of civilization, so-called crusaders, I say: BRING IT ON.
Sara Bokker is a former actress/model/fitness instructor and activist. Currently, Sara is Director of Communications at "The March For Justice," a co-founder of "The Global Sisters Network," and producer of the infamous "Shock & Awe Gallery
I am an American woman who was born in the midst of America’s “Heartland.”I grew up, just like any other girl, being fixated with the glamour of life in “the big city.”Eventually, I moved to Florida and on to South Beach of Miami, a hotspot for those seeking the “glamorous life.”Naturally, I did what most average Western girls do.I focused on my appearance and appeal, basing my self-worth on how much attention I got from others.I worked out religiously and became a personal trainer, acquired an upscale waterfront residence, became a regular “exhibiting” beach-goer and was able to attain a “living-in-style” kind of life.
Years went by, only to realize that my scale of self-fulfillment and happiness slid down the more I progressed in my “feminine appeal.” I was a slave to fashion. I was a hostage to my looks.
As the gap continued to progressively widen between my self-fulfillment and lifestyle, I sought refuge in escapes from alcohol and parties to meditation, activism, and alternative religions, only to have the little gap widen to what seemed like a valley. I eventually realized it all was merely a pain killer rather than an effective remedy.
By now it was September 11, 2001.As I witnessed the ensuing barrage on Islam, Islamic values and culture, and the infamous declaration of the “new crusade,” I started to notice something called Islam.Up until that point, all I had associated with Islam was women covered in “tents,” wife beaters, harems, and a world of terrorism.
As a feminist libertarian, and an activist who was pursuing a better world for all, my path crossed with that of another activist who was already at the lead of indiscriminately furthering causes of reform and justice for all.I joined in the ongoing campaigns of my new mentor which included, at the time, election reform and civil rights, among others.Now my new activism was fundamentally different.Instead of “selectively” advocating justice only to some, I learned that ideals such as justice, freedom, and respect are meant to be and are essentially universal, and that own good and common good are not in conflict.For the first time, I knew what “all people are created equal” really means.But most importantly, I learned that it only takes faith to see the world as one and to see the unity in creation.
One day I came across a book that is negatively stereotyped in the West--The Holy Qur’an.I was first attracted by the style and approach of the Qur’an, and then intrigued by its outlook on existence, life, creation, and the relationship between Creator and creation.I found the Qur’an to be a very insightful address to heart and soul without the need for an interpreter or pastor.
Eventually I hit a moment of truth: my new-found self-fulfilling activism was nothing more than merely embracing a faith called Islam where I could live in peace as a “functional” Muslim.
I bought a beautiful long gown and head cover resembling the Muslim woman’s dress code and I walked down the same streets and neighborhoods where only days earlier I had walked in my shorts, bikini, or “elegant” western business attire. Although the people, the faces, and the shops were all the same, one thing was remarkably distinct--I was not--nor was the peace at being a woman I experienced for the very first time.I felt as if the chains had been broken and I was finally free.I was delighted with the new looks of wonder on people’s faces in place of the looks of a hunter watching his prey I had once sought.Suddenly a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.I no longer spent all my time consumed with shopping, makeup, getting my hair done, and working out. Finally, I was free.
Of all places, I found my Islam at the heart of what some call “the most scandalous place on earth,” which makes it all the more dear and special.
While content with Hijab I became curious about Niqab, seeing an increasing number of Muslim women in it. I asked my Muslim husband, whom I married after I reverted to Islam, whether I should wear Niqab or just settle for the Hijab I was already wearing.My husband simply advised me that he believes Hijab is mandatory in Islam while Niqab is not.At the time, my Hijab consisted of head scarf that covered all my hair except for my face, and a loose long black gown called “Abaya” that covered all my body from neck to toe.
A year-and-a-half passed, and I told my husband I wanted to wear Niqab.My reason, this time, was that I felt it would be more pleasing to Allah, the Creator, increasing my feeling of peace at being more modest.He supported my decision and took me to buy an “Isdaal,” a loose black gown that covers from head to toe, and Niqab, which covers all my head and face except for my eyes.
Soon enough, news started breaking about politicians, Vatican clergymen, libertarians, and so-called human rights and freedom activists condemning Hijab at times, and Niqab at others as being oppressive to women, an obstacle to social integration, and more recently, as an Egyptian official called it--“a sign of backwardness.”
I find it to be a blatant hypocrisy when Western governments and so-called human rights groups rush to defend woman’s rights when some governments impose a certain dress code on women, yet such “freedom fighters” look the other way when women are being deprived of their rights, work, and education just because they choose to exercise their right to wear Niqab or Hijab.Today, women in Hijab or Niqab are being increasingly barred from work and education not only under totalitarian regimes such as in Tunisia,Morocco, and Egypt, but also in Western democracies such as France, Holland, and Britain.
Today I am still a feminist,but a Muslim feminist,who calls on Muslim women to assume their responsibilities in providing all the support they can for their husbands to be good Muslims. To raise their children as upright Muslims so they may be beacons of light for all humanity once again. To enjoin good--any good--and to forbid evil--any evil.To speak righteousness and to speak up against all ills.To fight for our right to wear Niqab or Hijab and to please our Creator whichever way we chose.But just as importantly to carry our experience with Niqab or Hijab to fellow women who may never have had the chance to understand what wearing Niqab or Hijab means to us and why do we, so dearly, embrace it.
Most of the women I know wearing Niqab are Western reverts,some of whom are not even married. Others wear Niqab without full support of either family or surroundings. What we all have in common is that it is the personal choice of each and every one of us, which none of us is willing to surrender.
Willingly or unwillingly, women are bombarded with styles of “dressing-in-little-to-nothing” virtually in every means of communication everywhere in the world.As an ex non-Muslim, I insist on women’s right to equally know about Hijab, its virtues, and the peace and happiness it brings to a woman’s life as it did to mine.Yesterday, the bikini was the symbol of my liberty, when in actuality it only liberated me from my spirituality and true value as a respectable human being.
I couldn’t be happier to shed my bikini in SouthBeach and the “glamorous” Western lifestyle to live in peace with my Creator and enjoy living among fellow humans as a worthy person.It is why I choose to wear Niqab, and why I will die defending my inalienable right to wear it.
Today, Niqab is the new symbol of woman’s liberation to find who she is, what her purpose is, and the type of relation she chooses to have with her Creator.
To women who surrender to the ugly stereotype against the Islamic modesty of Hijab, I say:You don’t know what you are missing.
To you, the ill-fated corrupting conquerors of civilization, so-called crusaders, I say: BRING IT ON.
Sara Bokker is a former actress/model/fitness instructor and activist. Currently, Sara is Director of Communications at "The March For Justice," a co-founder of "The Global Sisters Network," and producer of the infamous "Shock & Awe Gallery
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Benefits of Niqab Story
By Oum Hajar (a revert To islam)
Asalamalaykum wa Rahmatullah wa Baraketu
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam,
I am a Muslimah who reverted to Islam after I got married to an Egyptian Muslim. Alhamdullilah…Qadr…I am a foreigner living in Cairo, Egypt.
I have been wearing the niqab for 3 years now, I have decided to wear it when I was pregnant with my daughter Hagar, despite my husband's relatives telling me not to do so as I may stumble or fall. I still did…it is Jihad nifsi. Allah (SWT) has always been with me. Alhamdullilah.
I too was used to wearing all sorts of fads before especially when I worked as a flight attendant, before I met my husband in 1995.
SubhanAllah! Niqab, is good for women as it avoids deceitful eyes, temptation for men which will lead them to sin. The shaitan works in very mysterious ways, that's his job, to ead us away from Allah.
We all have difficulties to breath, and it gets hot in there too sometimes. But we women who wear niqab believe, the more
difficulties you have for Allah's cause, and bear it, the more rewards we obtain in paradise, InshaAllah.
I practiced Islam after reading and reading and reading…this triggered me to do so when my husband asked me questions about Christianity. And I can't just answer him rationally! To think, I was brought up in an all girls school run by nuns, and a mother who is a devoted Catholic.
This is my short story:
Before I got married, I worked in a Muslim country for four years as flight attendant. While I attended mass, I could hear the Adhan calling. It bothered me and thought the sounds they were doing were strange. Being brought up and sent to an all girls school run by nuns and a mother who was devoted to the Roman Catholic religion, I had totally no idea what is Islam!
I got married in mid 1997,lived with my husband in his country and converted to Islam by the end of the year. When I saw my mother-in- law prostrating on the floor, I thought it was also strange. I converted to Islam without knowing anything about it.
After taking loads of tests after two years of not conceiving, I then knew that both my fallopian tubes were blocked, I had a growing pituitary tumor and the ovaries making the eggs were weak. I was sickly when I was young, I even had a thyroidectomy at 16.
In the end of the year 2000, my husband all of a sudden started to pray. I guess, Allah had given him the chance. Both of us were working that time in a five star hotel. My husband told me to pray so that Allah would give us a child. In mid 2001, he taught me how to pray, and I was reading the Sahih Al Bhukhairi by Dr. Mohammed Muhsin Khan at the same time. Later on, realizing that the god of Islam is the god of Abraham and all the prophets, Jesus was one of
them. Allah as what the Muslims call Him is the One True God.
Ramadan before the year 2002 came I was praying the lailatul qadr and would wake up an hour before the fajr to pray. I would even pray with my husband and we would ask Allah to give us a child. I knew I was crying most of the time when asking HIM heartedly and sincerely. Just as a
child crying when it wants something from the parent.
In February 2002, I had an In-vitro Fertilization operation for short, test tube baby. After two weeks, I was confirmed pregnant and is blessed by Allah with a beautiful and healthy baby girl. ALHAMDULILLAH!!!!!
It was a miracle, as not too many women conceive right away on the first try with IVF. I knew that God has given me a gift. I knew that if we work hard for something it is always given to you. I left my life in the hands of God even when I was young. I made Allah my Auliya. I have proven to myself and I want to show the world that there is no might and power except with Allah!
Fee Amaan Allah
Oum Hagar
ALLAH KNOWS BEST
http://www.muslimconverts.com/
Asalamalaykum wa Rahmatullah wa Baraketu
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam,
I am a Muslimah who reverted to Islam after I got married to an Egyptian Muslim. Alhamdullilah…Qadr…I am a foreigner living in Cairo, Egypt.
I have been wearing the niqab for 3 years now, I have decided to wear it when I was pregnant with my daughter Hagar, despite my husband's relatives telling me not to do so as I may stumble or fall. I still did…it is Jihad nifsi. Allah (SWT) has always been with me. Alhamdullilah.
I too was used to wearing all sorts of fads before especially when I worked as a flight attendant, before I met my husband in 1995.
SubhanAllah! Niqab, is good for women as it avoids deceitful eyes, temptation for men which will lead them to sin. The shaitan works in very mysterious ways, that's his job, to ead us away from Allah.
We all have difficulties to breath, and it gets hot in there too sometimes. But we women who wear niqab believe, the more
difficulties you have for Allah's cause, and bear it, the more rewards we obtain in paradise, InshaAllah.
I practiced Islam after reading and reading and reading…this triggered me to do so when my husband asked me questions about Christianity. And I can't just answer him rationally! To think, I was brought up in an all girls school run by nuns, and a mother who is a devoted Catholic.
This is my short story:
Before I got married, I worked in a Muslim country for four years as flight attendant. While I attended mass, I could hear the Adhan calling. It bothered me and thought the sounds they were doing were strange. Being brought up and sent to an all girls school run by nuns and a mother who was devoted to the Roman Catholic religion, I had totally no idea what is Islam!
I got married in mid 1997,lived with my husband in his country and converted to Islam by the end of the year. When I saw my mother-in- law prostrating on the floor, I thought it was also strange. I converted to Islam without knowing anything about it.
After taking loads of tests after two years of not conceiving, I then knew that both my fallopian tubes were blocked, I had a growing pituitary tumor and the ovaries making the eggs were weak. I was sickly when I was young, I even had a thyroidectomy at 16.
In the end of the year 2000, my husband all of a sudden started to pray. I guess, Allah had given him the chance. Both of us were working that time in a five star hotel. My husband told me to pray so that Allah would give us a child. In mid 2001, he taught me how to pray, and I was reading the Sahih Al Bhukhairi by Dr. Mohammed Muhsin Khan at the same time. Later on, realizing that the god of Islam is the god of Abraham and all the prophets, Jesus was one of
them. Allah as what the Muslims call Him is the One True God.
Ramadan before the year 2002 came I was praying the lailatul qadr and would wake up an hour before the fajr to pray. I would even pray with my husband and we would ask Allah to give us a child. I knew I was crying most of the time when asking HIM heartedly and sincerely. Just as a
child crying when it wants something from the parent.
In February 2002, I had an In-vitro Fertilization operation for short, test tube baby. After two weeks, I was confirmed pregnant and is blessed by Allah with a beautiful and healthy baby girl. ALHAMDULILLAH!!!!!
It was a miracle, as not too many women conceive right away on the first try with IVF. I knew that God has given me a gift. I knew that if we work hard for something it is always given to you. I left my life in the hands of God even when I was young. I made Allah my Auliya. I have proven to myself and I want to show the world that there is no might and power except with Allah!
Fee Amaan Allah
Oum Hagar
ALLAH KNOWS BEST
http://www.muslimconverts.com/
Niqab story
My Niqab Story
By 17 year old Tara Blackthorn
Assalamu'alaikum
This is my niqab story. I had accepted Islam during the beginning of my 11th grade school year. Before taking shahadah I had adopted wearing a jilbab and hijab. One of my Muslim friends enlightened me on the evidence of niqab. She had said that their were two scholarly views based on its daleel, however the practice of niqab was the safer choice, so I decided that the day after school lets out that year, I will InshaAllah start to wear niqab. Then I started asking myself, why I was waiting until the summer vacation, was I that scared to face my peers at school with the niqab? I had already shocked everybody with jilbab and hijab, I just didn't want to deal with their stares and hushed comments. I became scared that I was committing shirk by putting the opinions of my schoolmates before that of Allah. Also I was very scared of taking the subway in my niqab, I already received murderous stares from various pairs of eyes.
The next Jumu'ah prayer that I attended, Alhamdulillah, the imam was talking about the amount of time we have in this life and suddenly I became restless. I seriously started to think about the waiting period that I had set up for my self to start the niqab, and was it the right thing to do. I can't be sure if I will live until school ends. (This thought was triggered by the unfortunate event that had occurred earlier that year, my childhood friend had died in a car accident and I was a bit sensitive about death during the Jumu'ah.) I made up my mind that from that Saturday, I will be wearing my khimar a little bit differently, with only my eyes showing. I am still wearing the niqab and I have not regretted my decision. For those of you who live in New York City and know the state of their public transportation system, I hope it gives you strength to start your own niqab by knowing that I take the subway (train) and sometimes the bus at least 5 times a week in my niqab. Whenever I take the subway, I remind myself of the hadith that says that if the whole world wanted to harm you, they wouldn't be able to, unless Allah willed it.May Allah raise your Iman and reward in the Hereafter.
http://muslimconverts.com/hijab_niqab/niqab_tara.htm
By 17 year old Tara Blackthorn
Assalamu'alaikum
This is my niqab story. I had accepted Islam during the beginning of my 11th grade school year. Before taking shahadah I had adopted wearing a jilbab and hijab. One of my Muslim friends enlightened me on the evidence of niqab. She had said that their were two scholarly views based on its daleel, however the practice of niqab was the safer choice, so I decided that the day after school lets out that year, I will InshaAllah start to wear niqab. Then I started asking myself, why I was waiting until the summer vacation, was I that scared to face my peers at school with the niqab? I had already shocked everybody with jilbab and hijab, I just didn't want to deal with their stares and hushed comments. I became scared that I was committing shirk by putting the opinions of my schoolmates before that of Allah. Also I was very scared of taking the subway in my niqab, I already received murderous stares from various pairs of eyes.
The next Jumu'ah prayer that I attended, Alhamdulillah, the imam was talking about the amount of time we have in this life and suddenly I became restless. I seriously started to think about the waiting period that I had set up for my self to start the niqab, and was it the right thing to do. I can't be sure if I will live until school ends. (This thought was triggered by the unfortunate event that had occurred earlier that year, my childhood friend had died in a car accident and I was a bit sensitive about death during the Jumu'ah.) I made up my mind that from that Saturday, I will be wearing my khimar a little bit differently, with only my eyes showing. I am still wearing the niqab and I have not regretted my decision. For those of you who live in New York City and know the state of their public transportation system, I hope it gives you strength to start your own niqab by knowing that I take the subway (train) and sometimes the bus at least 5 times a week in my niqab. Whenever I take the subway, I remind myself of the hadith that says that if the whole world wanted to harm you, they wouldn't be able to, unless Allah willed it.May Allah raise your Iman and reward in the Hereafter.
http://muslimconverts.com/hijab_niqab/niqab_tara.htm
NIQAB IS FREEDOM
FOR ME, NIQAB IS FREEDOM :WHY I COVER MY FACE
- A MUSLIM WOMAN'S STORY
by Aliyah bint Les Yaqub
Tuesday October 24, 2006/Shawwal 2, 1427
Bismillahir Rahmanhir Raheem-in the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Merciful.
Lately, there has been much controversy about "the veil" in the media. Certain people (e.g. politicians such as Jack Straw) have been making statements that, should he have directed them towards any other group in society, they would most probably elicit much derision and uproar. Yet, when such ignorant, hateful and insightful remarks are directed towards members of the Muslim community, there seem to be many who are "jumping on the band wagon". Why is this? There seem to be quite a few reasons why some are opposed to women wearing the niqab (the piece of fabric which covers the face). Some are saying that a woman who wears a niqab cannot be fully integrated into society & that it is a hindrance to communication. Others are saying that it is "scary" & "frightening" & may hinder her being able to be identified; or that they want to "liberate" those "poor oppressed" women who are "forced" to wear it. Well, whatever the so-called reasons that are causing people to call for the removal of the niqab from the faces of some Muslim women, it is without a doubt as a result of 9/11 in New York & the bombings in London. What is not happening is these people respecting the rights of women who want to wear the niqab. So perhaps the question needs to be asked: not of why women shouldn't cover their faces but why they choose to do so and why this choice (and their right to do so) should be respected.
I wear the niqab for a several reasons. One reason I wear it it is because I am a Muslim woman. If I weren't a Muslim, I highly doubt I would ever choose to cover my face. I say this also because I personally have not seen any non-Muslims wear it (though I have heard accounts of some Christian & Buddhist women covering their faces). Primarily, I wear it because I seek to please Allah, but not everyone who seeks to please Allah wears a niqab. I wear it to be more modest, but not everyone who wishes to be more modest chooses to wear a niqab. I wear it to help my Muslim brothers (& other men) to lower their gaze, but not everyone who wants to stop men looking at them does this. I wear it out of respect (but not by his request) for my husband, but not everyone who respects their husband (or whose husband requests it) wears a niqab. So, I wear it because for me, it is easier to put a piece of material on my face to achieve all these things as I don't know any other way to do so as completely & easily. I also wear it because, in the past, when I have worn just the headscarf & abaya (long cloak) I found myself becoming increasingly shy & loathe to show my face around men. I discovered to my surprise (after reviewing my feelings & behavior) that in the presence of strange men (men who are not very closely related to me or 'mahrams') I would either lower or turn my head, turn my whole body, use my hands to hide my face by pretending to touch my upper nose area or hide completely and I found that I was reluctant to leave the house even when I needed to. So, as you can see, this is was a problem. In fact, by NOT wearing niqab I was turning into a recluse; I was NOT a functioning member of society. In essence by NOT wearing my niqab, I was becoming as they say "segregated" & was not "integrating" into society. So in a nutshell, niqab allows me to feel comfortable enough to go outside my house for my needs, it allows me the feeling of liberty to be in the presence of non-mahrams without dread & embarrassment on my part. It is for me, a freedom. I know this may seem difficult for non-Muslims to understand and to be honest it probably would have seemed so to me prior to my entering Islam.
My journey towards wearing niqab "full-time" has been many things. It has been frustrating yet encouraging, confusing yet enlightening, difficult yet easy, heartbreaking yet uplifting; basically full of ambivalence. What is has always been is wonderful because this journey has drawn me much closer to Allah. I first started by wearing niqab "part-time" using a half-niqab (which covers only the nose & mouth). It is put on underneath the headscarf & the elastic back would allow me to pull it up or down in a fraction of a second. I would wear it for a few minutes at home & then for short trips out depending on where I was going. For instance, if I were to go to the masjid (the more correct term of 'mosque') or my husband's shop I would wear it. If I were going to the grocery store I would leave it off. At first (when I drove on my own) I wouldn't wear it while driving. When I was more confident wearing it while walking around I would then wear it while driving. I laugh now to think of the picture I must have made plus what the other drivers must have thought when they saw me-niqab plus sunglasses in a little hatchback! I currently wear the "headband-style" of niqab, the under layers exposing the eyes with a top, sheerer layer to cover the eyes which can be flipped back for better visibility. It is worn over the headscarf and sits just on (covering) my eyebrows, like a headband and is secured at the back of the head with either ties or with a velcro fastening. This allows me to conceal or reveal my eyes depending on where I am, what I am doing or to whom I am talking with. I do not drive now on my own out of personal choice (much to the frustration of my husband, I think) previously I drove just twice a week, to & from my Qur'an lesson- and I drove with the eye screen up and I find it did not in any way hinder my ability to maneuver my car.
To be quite honest a major impetus for me to even consider wearing something to cover my face came from visiting my husband while at his shop. I would see the interest many of his customers would have in me. Being a very pale-skinned person with western features & colouring, my husband would often receive enquiries about me. After a while, he started to get quite annoyed, as did I, with the questions about where I was from, why didn't he marry "his own kind", why did he marry me (i.e. why did he marry an Australian, a revert?-for some Muslims here these seem to be dirty words when used in the same sentence as 'marriage'), why did I enter Islam, did I have a sister (for the purposes of marriage)? I used to think, "what do they care, can't I be just a MUSLIM?" I (& my husband especially) was becoming increasingly upset with men (many of whom are Muslim & should know better not to do this), to put it plainly, ogling me for whatever reasons. We also were afflicted, we believe by "al-'ayn" or the jealousy eye-which is very real-and suffered a short period of intense marital hardship which we had never experienced before. Alhamdulillah, after becoming educated about how to gain the protection of Allah & the cure, this trial lifted. But it left me with a valuable lesson-that it would be better to cover my face for a variety of reasons. I think the final straw (no pun intended) was when one day after dropping my husband off at his work, I had a minor car accident. The first person who came to the scene was a non-Muslim, an acquaintance of my husband. He asked if I were OK & in the meantime my husband came running back after hearing the noise of the crash. He was later asked by this non-Muslim acquaintance who had spoken not more than ten words to me (covered in my long headscarf & loose abaya, both black) if I "had a sister". This made me realize that even to the non-Muslims the headscarf & abaya of the Muslim woman were not enough to deter interest. I said to myself at the time, "right, that's it! I've had enough! I'm wearing my niqab everywhere from now on!" And I have, Alhamdulillah and I have never once looked back.
I truly believed that it was enough to wear what I was wearing (headscarf and abaya) to deter men's interest; I thought to myself, "what else is there to cover when everything sexual or desirable IS covered?" Well, the answer is, the things left to cover are the face and hands. And when you think about it, a woman's face & hands are the focal point of beauty ESPECIALLY when she has covered every other part of her body with loose clothing. I mean, what else is there to look at? When you say a woman is beautiful you are not talking about her feet or her knees;you are talking about her face. What areas of a woman's body have more money spent on them than the face and hands (besides hair)? Multi-billion dollar industries are devoted to selling products for the face and hands. Hours and hours are spent in the further beautification of these areas. Beauty spas/salons and manicure centres are plentiful all over the world. And there is nothing really wrong with this except that is causes men to further desire women (and also perhaps can be seen as a major waste of time.) Which for the Muslim woman is a problem, unless the man happens to be her husband! So anyone who says that the face and hands are not important or desirable-even sans cosmetics-is underestimating the beauty of women and the ability of men to find beauty in the women around him.
So I spent many hours pouring over the evidences, days, in fact looking at ahadith and of course, ayat in the Qur'an. I did this because in my "part-time" wearing of niqab I had discovered that my father-in-law was somewhat opposed to niqab (for reasons I did not [and still don't fully] understand). Also, I had encountered a sister who said to me, "you know, you don't HAVE to wear it!?" So, I wanted to be fully equipped to handle any questions and oppositions; basically I wanted to be able to justify to Muslims why I wear niqab. As I delved into the evidences, I discovered that there are two views: mustahabb (highly recommended) and fard/wajib (obligatory,compulsory). To the common-garden variety Muslimah like me I was a little frustrated. Why with something that seemed (to me) so crucial, was there such a difference of opinion? I had decided to wear niqab anyway & to make it easier on myself I really wanted the covering of the face to be obligatory and was searching for such (clear) supporting evidence from scholarly interpretation; main reason being was my belief that my father-in-law was going to oppose me on this issue & forbid me from wearing it. I finally came to a personal decision (from looking at the evidence from the Qur'an & Sunnah & taking the more correct of scholarly opinion) about this issue; that covering the face is fard/wajib. After realizing that if the scholars can't agree on the status of covering the face then the common Muslim isn't going to agree either, I really had to look at WHY I wanted to wear niqab so much, basically so I could justify my decision to my father-in-law. I had also made the salatal-istikhara (prayer of guidance) so that whichever path I did choose it would be with guidance from Allah. I thought again about all the things that had happened to me in the time since I became a Muslim and I also looked at my level of faith. So why did I feel this compulsion to cover my face in the presence of strange men? I discovered I really wanted to wear niqab because I fear Allah. Wallahi I fear the Day of Resurrection (Yaumul-Qiyaamah) and what I may have to answer to Allah for. If covering the face is obligatory, I fear He may ask me why I didn't do it. If covering the face is "only" highly recommended & something for which extra rewards are given, I fear he will ask me why I didn't do something that I knew to be a highly recommended Sunnah (Sunnah is that which the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, did, which he enjoined, and which was not forbidden by him when done in his presence) knowing what fitnah (trial) I was perhaps causing others. I know of saheeh ahadith that support this and after seeing them, and after knowing them and understanding them I couldn't truthfully plead ignorance to Allah on the day when our hands, our eyes, and our limbs and even our Qur'an will speak for us, even if we do not wish to tell the truth. So after considering all these (many) reasons, I understood that I had more reason to wear it than not to. And the reasons for not wearing niqab suddenly seemed so insignificant compared to the real reason why I should which is to gain the pleasure of Allah insha'Allah (Allah willing) and to insha'Allah lose the displeasure of Him.
Most of the reasons that I did not wear niqab (which seem so silly now) were because I was worried what people would think of me. The main person I was worried about was my father-in-law, I just didn't want him to think that I was going against his wishes and 'challenging' him. Then I was worried what other Muslims will think, for instance, "who does she think she is to wear a niqab, she's only a 'convert' ." I was also worried what westerners and non-Muslims will think; they will be confused and /or frightened; I will be harassed; I will be discriminated against; I will be put in danger etc etc. Not to mention the (initial) discomfort and inconvenience of wearing niqab. At that time of confusion, the only opinion I didn't worry about was Allah's and what He thought of me. For me, that suddenly put it all into perspective. All the other reasons, the staring, the insults, the discomfort, the questions, even what I thought was the opinion of my father-in-law (whom I love dearly) didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was Allah. For Whom we have no reason to exist but to worship Him. I knew without a shred of doubt that as I would be covering my face in the hope that I would gain Allah's pleasure, He would make it easy for me and He would protect me from all harm. And that any hardship I faced as a result of covering my face would insha'Allah only be an increase in any rewards I would gain.
Alhamdulillah, Allah has made my journey of wearing niqab easy (well, easier than some sister whose stories I have heard). Yes, sometimes people stare and whisper, sometimes they say some remarks under their breath and once someone called me a 'ghost' while standing in line at the checkout counter (to which my bearded and fierce husband gave a menacing reply) and recently I was harassed on my way to my Qur'an lesson (while driving on my own, so now I have arranged a time when my husband can drive me). However, in general, Muslim and non-Muslim men have afforded me with greater respect than even before. Hijab (with or without covering the face) enables a Muslim woman to no longer cringe with embarrassment when walking past a group of men; a Muslim woman if properly covered can be fully assured that those said men cannot gaze lustfully at her chest and will not be waiting until she passes to take a look at better look at her back view. I have come into contact with many non-Muslim women go out of their way to smile and to be polite and kind as if they instinctively know the hardship the we Muslim women especially the "niqaabis" face due to the ignorance of our fellow Australians. On a lighter note, I am always amused at the expressions of surprise on peoples' faces when they hear my very Australian-with-no-trace-of-an-accent voice. And then when they (if it is a woman) see an amused set of blue eyes, I think then they suddenly feel embarrassed at their misconceptions and stereotypes. I hope then they realize that underneath I'm just a normal woman with a family with hopes and dreams who just happens to cover her face & body. And that this woman does not represent "The Enemy". It is also my hope that other Muslim women (even the ones who wear niqab) do not create difficulties for their Muslim sisters who wish to cover their face. I have found that some munaqabahs (niqab-wearing Muslim women) have harassed "part-time" niqaabis for not covering all the time. It is my hope they understand that this step requires patience, understanding, support and lots of eman. And Allah knows best. As with any other religious action whether you deem it fard or "just sunnah" (ooh, that's a term that just gets on my nerves) we should be encouraging and definitely not discouraging other Muslims to perform them.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I wrote this fisabeelAllah (for the sake of Allah) to help non-Muslims understand why some women cover their faces despite such opposition (even from other Muslims) and to encourage those sisters who are wanting to.
Anything good and correct I have said is from Allah and anything incorrect is from me or the shaytan (the devil). Subhanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika, 'ash-hadu 'an laa illaaha illaa 'Anta, 'asaghfiruka wa 'atoobu 'ilayka.
##############################################
Sister Aliyah entered Islam two years ago. She met her husband first briefly when they were unmarried while attending an Australian high-school together and tutoring him in English and then again, 15 years later and about six months after her entering Islam. She happened to walk into his butcher shop (as a Muslim) to buy halal meat.
Taken from http://muslimconverts.com/niqab/niqab-aliyah.html
- A MUSLIM WOMAN'S STORY
by Aliyah bint Les Yaqub
Tuesday October 24, 2006/Shawwal 2, 1427
Bismillahir Rahmanhir Raheem-in the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Merciful.
Lately, there has been much controversy about "the veil" in the media. Certain people (e.g. politicians such as Jack Straw) have been making statements that, should he have directed them towards any other group in society, they would most probably elicit much derision and uproar. Yet, when such ignorant, hateful and insightful remarks are directed towards members of the Muslim community, there seem to be many who are "jumping on the band wagon". Why is this? There seem to be quite a few reasons why some are opposed to women wearing the niqab (the piece of fabric which covers the face). Some are saying that a woman who wears a niqab cannot be fully integrated into society & that it is a hindrance to communication. Others are saying that it is "scary" & "frightening" & may hinder her being able to be identified; or that they want to "liberate" those "poor oppressed" women who are "forced" to wear it. Well, whatever the so-called reasons that are causing people to call for the removal of the niqab from the faces of some Muslim women, it is without a doubt as a result of 9/11 in New York & the bombings in London. What is not happening is these people respecting the rights of women who want to wear the niqab. So perhaps the question needs to be asked: not of why women shouldn't cover their faces but why they choose to do so and why this choice (and their right to do so) should be respected.
I wear the niqab for a several reasons. One reason I wear it it is because I am a Muslim woman. If I weren't a Muslim, I highly doubt I would ever choose to cover my face. I say this also because I personally have not seen any non-Muslims wear it (though I have heard accounts of some Christian & Buddhist women covering their faces). Primarily, I wear it because I seek to please Allah, but not everyone who seeks to please Allah wears a niqab. I wear it to be more modest, but not everyone who wishes to be more modest chooses to wear a niqab. I wear it to help my Muslim brothers (& other men) to lower their gaze, but not everyone who wants to stop men looking at them does this. I wear it out of respect (but not by his request) for my husband, but not everyone who respects their husband (or whose husband requests it) wears a niqab. So, I wear it because for me, it is easier to put a piece of material on my face to achieve all these things as I don't know any other way to do so as completely & easily. I also wear it because, in the past, when I have worn just the headscarf & abaya (long cloak) I found myself becoming increasingly shy & loathe to show my face around men. I discovered to my surprise (after reviewing my feelings & behavior) that in the presence of strange men (men who are not very closely related to me or 'mahrams') I would either lower or turn my head, turn my whole body, use my hands to hide my face by pretending to touch my upper nose area or hide completely and I found that I was reluctant to leave the house even when I needed to. So, as you can see, this is was a problem. In fact, by NOT wearing niqab I was turning into a recluse; I was NOT a functioning member of society. In essence by NOT wearing my niqab, I was becoming as they say "segregated" & was not "integrating" into society. So in a nutshell, niqab allows me to feel comfortable enough to go outside my house for my needs, it allows me the feeling of liberty to be in the presence of non-mahrams without dread & embarrassment on my part. It is for me, a freedom. I know this may seem difficult for non-Muslims to understand and to be honest it probably would have seemed so to me prior to my entering Islam.
My journey towards wearing niqab "full-time" has been many things. It has been frustrating yet encouraging, confusing yet enlightening, difficult yet easy, heartbreaking yet uplifting; basically full of ambivalence. What is has always been is wonderful because this journey has drawn me much closer to Allah. I first started by wearing niqab "part-time" using a half-niqab (which covers only the nose & mouth). It is put on underneath the headscarf & the elastic back would allow me to pull it up or down in a fraction of a second. I would wear it for a few minutes at home & then for short trips out depending on where I was going. For instance, if I were to go to the masjid (the more correct term of 'mosque') or my husband's shop I would wear it. If I were going to the grocery store I would leave it off. At first (when I drove on my own) I wouldn't wear it while driving. When I was more confident wearing it while walking around I would then wear it while driving. I laugh now to think of the picture I must have made plus what the other drivers must have thought when they saw me-niqab plus sunglasses in a little hatchback! I currently wear the "headband-style" of niqab, the under layers exposing the eyes with a top, sheerer layer to cover the eyes which can be flipped back for better visibility. It is worn over the headscarf and sits just on (covering) my eyebrows, like a headband and is secured at the back of the head with either ties or with a velcro fastening. This allows me to conceal or reveal my eyes depending on where I am, what I am doing or to whom I am talking with. I do not drive now on my own out of personal choice (much to the frustration of my husband, I think) previously I drove just twice a week, to & from my Qur'an lesson- and I drove with the eye screen up and I find it did not in any way hinder my ability to maneuver my car.
To be quite honest a major impetus for me to even consider wearing something to cover my face came from visiting my husband while at his shop. I would see the interest many of his customers would have in me. Being a very pale-skinned person with western features & colouring, my husband would often receive enquiries about me. After a while, he started to get quite annoyed, as did I, with the questions about where I was from, why didn't he marry "his own kind", why did he marry me (i.e. why did he marry an Australian, a revert?-for some Muslims here these seem to be dirty words when used in the same sentence as 'marriage'), why did I enter Islam, did I have a sister (for the purposes of marriage)? I used to think, "what do they care, can't I be just a MUSLIM?" I (& my husband especially) was becoming increasingly upset with men (many of whom are Muslim & should know better not to do this), to put it plainly, ogling me for whatever reasons. We also were afflicted, we believe by "al-'ayn" or the jealousy eye-which is very real-and suffered a short period of intense marital hardship which we had never experienced before. Alhamdulillah, after becoming educated about how to gain the protection of Allah & the cure, this trial lifted. But it left me with a valuable lesson-that it would be better to cover my face for a variety of reasons. I think the final straw (no pun intended) was when one day after dropping my husband off at his work, I had a minor car accident. The first person who came to the scene was a non-Muslim, an acquaintance of my husband. He asked if I were OK & in the meantime my husband came running back after hearing the noise of the crash. He was later asked by this non-Muslim acquaintance who had spoken not more than ten words to me (covered in my long headscarf & loose abaya, both black) if I "had a sister". This made me realize that even to the non-Muslims the headscarf & abaya of the Muslim woman were not enough to deter interest. I said to myself at the time, "right, that's it! I've had enough! I'm wearing my niqab everywhere from now on!" And I have, Alhamdulillah and I have never once looked back.
I truly believed that it was enough to wear what I was wearing (headscarf and abaya) to deter men's interest; I thought to myself, "what else is there to cover when everything sexual or desirable IS covered?" Well, the answer is, the things left to cover are the face and hands. And when you think about it, a woman's face & hands are the focal point of beauty ESPECIALLY when she has covered every other part of her body with loose clothing. I mean, what else is there to look at? When you say a woman is beautiful you are not talking about her feet or her knees;you are talking about her face. What areas of a woman's body have more money spent on them than the face and hands (besides hair)? Multi-billion dollar industries are devoted to selling products for the face and hands. Hours and hours are spent in the further beautification of these areas. Beauty spas/salons and manicure centres are plentiful all over the world. And there is nothing really wrong with this except that is causes men to further desire women (and also perhaps can be seen as a major waste of time.) Which for the Muslim woman is a problem, unless the man happens to be her husband! So anyone who says that the face and hands are not important or desirable-even sans cosmetics-is underestimating the beauty of women and the ability of men to find beauty in the women around him.
So I spent many hours pouring over the evidences, days, in fact looking at ahadith and of course, ayat in the Qur'an. I did this because in my "part-time" wearing of niqab I had discovered that my father-in-law was somewhat opposed to niqab (for reasons I did not [and still don't fully] understand). Also, I had encountered a sister who said to me, "you know, you don't HAVE to wear it!?" So, I wanted to be fully equipped to handle any questions and oppositions; basically I wanted to be able to justify to Muslims why I wear niqab. As I delved into the evidences, I discovered that there are two views: mustahabb (highly recommended) and fard/wajib (obligatory,compulsory). To the common-garden variety Muslimah like me I was a little frustrated. Why with something that seemed (to me) so crucial, was there such a difference of opinion? I had decided to wear niqab anyway & to make it easier on myself I really wanted the covering of the face to be obligatory and was searching for such (clear) supporting evidence from scholarly interpretation; main reason being was my belief that my father-in-law was going to oppose me on this issue & forbid me from wearing it. I finally came to a personal decision (from looking at the evidence from the Qur'an & Sunnah & taking the more correct of scholarly opinion) about this issue; that covering the face is fard/wajib. After realizing that if the scholars can't agree on the status of covering the face then the common Muslim isn't going to agree either, I really had to look at WHY I wanted to wear niqab so much, basically so I could justify my decision to my father-in-law. I had also made the salatal-istikhara (prayer of guidance) so that whichever path I did choose it would be with guidance from Allah. I thought again about all the things that had happened to me in the time since I became a Muslim and I also looked at my level of faith. So why did I feel this compulsion to cover my face in the presence of strange men? I discovered I really wanted to wear niqab because I fear Allah. Wallahi I fear the Day of Resurrection (Yaumul-Qiyaamah) and what I may have to answer to Allah for. If covering the face is obligatory, I fear He may ask me why I didn't do it. If covering the face is "only" highly recommended & something for which extra rewards are given, I fear he will ask me why I didn't do something that I knew to be a highly recommended Sunnah (Sunnah is that which the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, did, which he enjoined, and which was not forbidden by him when done in his presence) knowing what fitnah (trial) I was perhaps causing others. I know of saheeh ahadith that support this and after seeing them, and after knowing them and understanding them I couldn't truthfully plead ignorance to Allah on the day when our hands, our eyes, and our limbs and even our Qur'an will speak for us, even if we do not wish to tell the truth. So after considering all these (many) reasons, I understood that I had more reason to wear it than not to. And the reasons for not wearing niqab suddenly seemed so insignificant compared to the real reason why I should which is to gain the pleasure of Allah insha'Allah (Allah willing) and to insha'Allah lose the displeasure of Him.
Most of the reasons that I did not wear niqab (which seem so silly now) were because I was worried what people would think of me. The main person I was worried about was my father-in-law, I just didn't want him to think that I was going against his wishes and 'challenging' him. Then I was worried what other Muslims will think, for instance, "who does she think she is to wear a niqab, she's only a 'convert' ." I was also worried what westerners and non-Muslims will think; they will be confused and /or frightened; I will be harassed; I will be discriminated against; I will be put in danger etc etc. Not to mention the (initial) discomfort and inconvenience of wearing niqab. At that time of confusion, the only opinion I didn't worry about was Allah's and what He thought of me. For me, that suddenly put it all into perspective. All the other reasons, the staring, the insults, the discomfort, the questions, even what I thought was the opinion of my father-in-law (whom I love dearly) didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was Allah. For Whom we have no reason to exist but to worship Him. I knew without a shred of doubt that as I would be covering my face in the hope that I would gain Allah's pleasure, He would make it easy for me and He would protect me from all harm. And that any hardship I faced as a result of covering my face would insha'Allah only be an increase in any rewards I would gain.
Alhamdulillah, Allah has made my journey of wearing niqab easy (well, easier than some sister whose stories I have heard). Yes, sometimes people stare and whisper, sometimes they say some remarks under their breath and once someone called me a 'ghost' while standing in line at the checkout counter (to which my bearded and fierce husband gave a menacing reply) and recently I was harassed on my way to my Qur'an lesson (while driving on my own, so now I have arranged a time when my husband can drive me). However, in general, Muslim and non-Muslim men have afforded me with greater respect than even before. Hijab (with or without covering the face) enables a Muslim woman to no longer cringe with embarrassment when walking past a group of men; a Muslim woman if properly covered can be fully assured that those said men cannot gaze lustfully at her chest and will not be waiting until she passes to take a look at better look at her back view. I have come into contact with many non-Muslim women go out of their way to smile and to be polite and kind as if they instinctively know the hardship the we Muslim women especially the "niqaabis" face due to the ignorance of our fellow Australians. On a lighter note, I am always amused at the expressions of surprise on peoples' faces when they hear my very Australian-with-no-trace-of-an-accent voice. And then when they (if it is a woman) see an amused set of blue eyes, I think then they suddenly feel embarrassed at their misconceptions and stereotypes. I hope then they realize that underneath I'm just a normal woman with a family with hopes and dreams who just happens to cover her face & body. And that this woman does not represent "The Enemy". It is also my hope that other Muslim women (even the ones who wear niqab) do not create difficulties for their Muslim sisters who wish to cover their face. I have found that some munaqabahs (niqab-wearing Muslim women) have harassed "part-time" niqaabis for not covering all the time. It is my hope they understand that this step requires patience, understanding, support and lots of eman. And Allah knows best. As with any other religious action whether you deem it fard or "just sunnah" (ooh, that's a term that just gets on my nerves) we should be encouraging and definitely not discouraging other Muslims to perform them.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I wrote this fisabeelAllah (for the sake of Allah) to help non-Muslims understand why some women cover their faces despite such opposition (even from other Muslims) and to encourage those sisters who are wanting to.
Anything good and correct I have said is from Allah and anything incorrect is from me or the shaytan (the devil). Subhanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika, 'ash-hadu 'an laa illaaha illaa 'Anta, 'asaghfiruka wa 'atoobu 'ilayka.
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Sister Aliyah entered Islam two years ago. She met her husband first briefly when they were unmarried while attending an Australian high-school together and tutoring him in English and then again, 15 years later and about six months after her entering Islam. She happened to walk into his butcher shop (as a Muslim) to buy halal meat.
Taken from http://muslimconverts.com/niqab/niqab-aliyah.html
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